Joke of the month

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US. We know very little about it.  I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.."  
Perplexed and horrified the man seeks a second opinion from a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims:  "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."  
The guy impatiently replies: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"  
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way.. No need amputate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes." says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week. Faw off by itself...!"

I.M.F.

When you really look just a bit deeper into it, the International Monetary Fund is nothing else but the worlds biggest loan shark. But, to be fair, the IMF is different from your typical loan shark who gives you the money with the expectation that you pay it back with enormous interest attached to it. This one has somewhat different attachment: a set of conditions that will make the borrower become subservient to it. It is not good, it is not necessary for your existence, but when you (and your country) are down on your financial luck and have greedy and unscrupulous people in charge of your country's future, you can be rest assured you will be even further down on your luck. And not only the financial kind.

Evolution

"In past ages, the law governing the survival of the fittest roughly weeded out the less desirable strains. Then man's new sense of pity began to interfere with the ruthless workings of nature."

 - Nikola Tesla

Poverty

"The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but of a set of priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied, but written off as trash."

 - John Berger

Colonization

"When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. Than they said: "Let us pray". We closed our eyes and we prayed. And when we opened our eyes we had the Bible and they had our land."

 - Bishop Desmond Tutu

Straight talk

"Dear Mrs. Prime Minister, you keep saying that you are and always will be giving everything for the country and it's people. Well, dear Mrs. Prime Minister, you really do not have to give everything. Your resignation should suffice."

 - Dragutin Lesar, member of Croatian Parliament (My translation)